Have you ever found yourself before going into a presentation, a speaking gig or perhaps a meeting at work where you knew you were less than confident?

I know I have.

There is a saying that we should ‘fake it till we make it’ though I don’t subscribe to that approach. Basically because I think if you ‘fake it’, it usually shows - in your lack of confidence.

And what’s worse is that can translate into people having a lack of trust in you and impact future opportunities you might have for working with someone or being asked back for a future meeting.So in other words it impacts your personal brand and reputation as a leader.

That is why I was thrilled to see a new book released recently by someone whose expertise I value - it’s called ‘The Confident Leader: How the Most Successful People Go from Effective to Exceptional’ and the author is Larina Kase who is a New York Times best selling author.

I had the opportunity last week to speak to Larina for a project I am working on and she generously offered to answer some questions I had for her about becoming a confident leader which I hope you will find of value.

Krishna: Why is our personal confidence as a leader is important in relation to business development and growth?

Larina: Whether you own a business of 1 (you) or 1,000, you are the leader - of yourself, your business, your life. As a leader, your confidence will determine what you achieve as well as how others respond to you and your business.

We know from recent research that self-esteem and confidence are some of the most important predictors of career success and income, and that it doesn’t go the other way around—we can’t wait until we having a thriving business and hope that it increases our confidence. Instead, if we develop confidence, we’re more likely to have a thriving business.

In terms of business growth, your confidence will enable you to take on key challenges in growing your business, such as:

• Describing the benefits of your business and educating others why they should do business with you
• Getting yourself to do the marketing activities that you want to avoid (things like public speaking networking, running a blog) but you know would help you build your business
• Inspiring others (your employees, virtual assistants, contractors) to stay motivated and see the big picture
• Presenting your business from a standpoint of conviction and value (which attracts others and makes them want to do business with you) rather than insecurity or desperation.

Krishna: What are the signals we can see in ourselves and our members of our team that they are lacking in confidence?

Larina: The number one thing to look for is avoidance. When people have confidence, they will take on all sorts of things, feeling secure that even if they “fail,” they’ll work it out. On the other hand, when we lack confidence, we tend to avoid situations when we fear we could fail, embarrass ourselves, or let ourselves or others done.

Keep in mind that avoidance can be subtle. It may not be as obvious as declining to participate in a project. More often, we’ll attempt something but do it half-heartedly or rely on crutches.

For example, let’s say that someone lacked confidence about confronting people and having difficult conversations. She may attempt to confront someone but she tries so hard to be nice and not offend that person (her crutch) that she lacks assertiveness and doesn’t express her needs.

Or let’s say that you lack confidence in your ability to introduce yourself. You may not avoid it (you know you can’t sit there and say nothing), but you use the crutches of speaking really fast, looking down, and not saying an interesting fact about yourself.

Krishna: How do we ensure that we are not perceived as being over confident as that too can put people off?

Larina: Many people worry about appearing arrogant and would rather appear slightly less confident. In reality, it is often a lack of confidence that makes people come across as over-confident.

When we lack confidence, we tend to overcompensate. And it is the overcompensation makes people look over-confident (or look like they’re trying too hard) and puts others off.

If someone is worried that they will come across as unintelligent, they try to use fancy language, and will look like they think they’re so smart. If someone worries that they will come across as boring, they will try to be interesting, and will look like they love to talk about themselves.

There are exceptions. Sometimes (rarely) people actually are arrogant and have an inflated image of themselves. You would know if this were you because you’d think that you can do no wrong, your opinion of yourself would be higher than others (you’d be shocked by B’s on papers or performance reviews that were not 100% glowing). You’d dominate conversations and not be interested in others’ viewpoints. If this is you, then these things need to change or you will be perceived as over-confident, and rightly so. If this is not you, then you really don’t need to worry.

Krishna: What are 3 actions we can take to bolster and develop our confidence?

Larina: Here are three steps to get you started:

1. Develop your growth mindset. This is your ability to ask yourself questions like, “What can I learn?” from situations regardless of their outcome and NOT to judge yourself from the outcome.

2. Take on strategic challenges. Push yourself about 20% past your comfort zone by seeking out and taking on challenges (not just dealing with them as they arise).

3. Give yourself credit. Reward your efforts (not your results) when you have done something difficult.

Krishna: Thank you Larina for sharing some really practical guidance on how to become a more confident leader. How can we find out more about your book ‘The Confident Leader’ and if you have coaching support to assist people with boosting their confidence?

Larina: You are welcome Krishna. My new book provides a 6-step formula for taking on key challenges, making difficult decisions, and navigating outside your comfort zone.

The second half applies the formula to key business areas such as staying focused and motivated, marketing yourself, standing out, and dealing with difficult people.

It includes interviews with business leaders such as Seth Godin, Tim Sanders, and Joe Vitale.

And if people are looking for support they can contact me about my coaching programme’s at PAScoaching.com.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

You can also follow Larina at Twitter which she has recently joined so go on over and say hi, and you can access her insights at her blog where you will also find a list of other interviews she is doing about being a confident leader.

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